Martin Armstrong Fake Fan Email Imitation

Martin Armstrong's Fake Fan Emails are so ridiculous and implausible that his readers have been writing parodies such as this one:

Re: Looks like yet another charlatan

Now, let me expand on his made-up letters since you brought it up and some others mentioned them elsewhere. All those letters could be broken down into three main categories:

1.  Dear MA. Thank you for your existence. Our whole family has been reading your blog for years. It is so great that my 97-year-old grandma decided to learn how to read so as to be able to follow your blog. Occasionally on big family gatherings such as Thanksgiving or Christmas we even read your blog out loud (uncle Derek reads it because he has a strong voice and a better diction than our grandma). My children don’t go to school anymore because they have your blog. What else can you ask for in life, right? Thanks to your unique knowledge and extraordinary insight, we now know that politicians are not good as they claim during election campaigns and also that something bad is going on in Europe. It was really an eye-opener. Could you please elaborate on why grass is green and water is wet? Thank you.

2.  Your honor. I am so fortunate that I have stumbled upon your blog. I am a historian with a PhD but never have I read anything like what you put on your website. It is so clear to me that Will Durant and Eugen Weber are not in the same league with you because they probably copied some of their work from you. Even Herodotus would feel deeply ashamed of himself after reading the stuff you researched and kindly shared with us on your fascinating blog. Our academic community together with UNESCO should initiate the process of updating school programs around the globe with all your valuable insight and discoveries. A truly eye-opener. My son now actually can see things better after your blog (used to wear thick glasses). Would you please make some more dvds for Amazon and Netflix so everybody could benefit from your brilliant understanding of history? Thank you.

3.  Your majesty. Words can’t express how grateful I am for living in the same time with you. Your knowledge of economics and physics is so amazing that you should be awarded the Nobel prize for both. I am just one of millions of your loyal followers and has been attending your conferences since the Civil War. I remember you once said gold would go up and down. And it did! You also said that there would be wars in the world. And then they happened! The world best forecaster indeed! Now everybody steals your predictions and claims as their own all over the place. They are so dishonest. At your last conference there were tens of thousands of people and you could not place them all so you had to turn thousands away. Will you hold your next conference in a larger place say exhibition halls or convention centers to accommodate all participants? Thank you.

MA's answer regardless of the question asked almost always goes like this:

Thank you. It’s been a mystery to me. Some call it a miracle, some call me the greatest forecaster on the planet but I put it down simply to my unique ECM model. Gold went up precisely on time and according to the model. It’s not my opinion, it’s what computer says based on capital flows across the globe and the unique historic data that cost me hundreds of millions. Even the IMF does not have such database. The computer model works through 32000 variables and 72 metrics and so much else, it’s not humanly possible to produce forecasts like this. Even Microsoft and IBM clouds combined would not be able to process it. NASA confirms that they are not going to have such processing power before at least 2032, the next ECM turning point. It’s all because politicians are all corrupt, they can’t even run a bubble-gum machine. Back in the old days, the Roman empire collapsed precisely for the same reasons - they were all lawyers, not traders and programmers like myself. Governments are everywhere hunting cash and want to impose more taxes, bankers are sucking the blood of the economy, riots are everywhere just in line with our War cycle model. The Euro is about to crack because European leaders didn’t listen to me. Welcome to Big Bang. Remember it was all rosy before when I consulted presidents and prime-ministers all over the world. Milton Friedman used to come to my conferences and sit quietly on the back row, Maggie Thatcher used to call me for my advice, Paul Volcker wrote a book borrowing my ideas on cycles and so on. I am going to publish a report on gold soon and hold a conference next month where I will go in depth on all that and also on how to solve sovereign debt problem, find a cure for cancer, set peace in the Middle East, reduce inequality, eradicate poverty, and understand women. Sign-up early since places are limited.